Showing posts with label Congruence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Congruence. Show all posts

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Aligning your multi-mind

"A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
Abraham Lincoln

According to the noted Stanford University neuro-scientist and psychologist Prof. Robert Ornstein, we don’t have a single unitary mind, rather we are a multi-mind made up of numerous simple and relatively autonomous mini-minds. The cognitive scientist Marvin Minsky calls it a ‘society of mind’.


We appear to experience a single mind and stream of consciousness, but the scientific evidence suggests that this sense of unitary self and consciousness is really a fiction. In reality, our mind is the result of a synthesis of many unconscious processes operating and negotiating together.

Many brains - a society of mind

Let’s examine this idea in a bit more detail. For a start we know we have at minimum three separate brains – the head brain, the enteric or gut brain and the cardiac or heart brain. The head brain itself is also composed of two relatively autonomous functional half-brains – the right and left hemispheres. Within each of these brains, groups of neurons and structures operate, build and perform competencies and unconscious skills. And importantly, these mini-minds communicate with one another to operate the totality that appears as the ‘self’.

This works fine when all parts of your multi-mind, your ‘society of mind’ are aligned and congruent. It’s problematic however when there’s disagreement or dissension in the camp; when parts of your mind are incongruent or at odds with one another. Such incongruence or mismatch undermines your resolve and leads to incongruent behaviour and outcomes. You literally sabotage your own success.


We all have experiences of this. Think of times when you’ve felt torn on a decision. Where one part of you has agreed but another part has not. Notice also that the two ‘sides’ of this disagreement are often represented on the two sides of your body. You’ll see and hear people say “on the one hand I feel/want/believe X… but on the other hand I feel/want/believe Y”; and you’ll literally see them hold their hands out as they say this.

In NLP terms, this linguistic expression is a literal descriptor of the unconscious process of the two hemispheres being in disagreement with one another. Remember that the left side of the body is connected to and controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain, and the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere. When the two hemispheres are in disagreement with one another, this incongruence is represented and embodied across the physical body and often experienced as mismatched feelings at the midline of the body.

Think about something you are undecided on now, or something that was important but you were divided about in the past. You’ll probably experience exactly what I’ve just described. Notice also that the left and right brains also communicate to the heart brain and gut brain and lead to feelings of discomfort or disagreement in your gut region or heart region – in your gut brain and heart brain.


When you negotiate and integrate all these disparate parts, you'll often find that you feel the coming together, the aligning, at the center of your heart -- you finally feel like you've gotten to the 'heart of the matter'. Interesting how the heart and gut brains are pivotal in generating congruence, motivation and encouragement.

The Cybernetic Loop

Remember the Cybernetic Loop model from NLP that says that the mind and body are connected in a control loop and that what affects one part affects all other parts. When there is disagreement or incongruence within the system of your multi-mind, it leads to incongruence in your feelings and your behaviour and physiology.

A great example of this is when someone gives you a gift you really don’t like. It’s almost impossible to congruently express gratitude and thanks without some non-verbal indicator of your dislike for the gift. In fact, psychologists have developed tools to read the fleeting and small micro-muscle movements that occur whenever you attempt to lie. The part of your multi-mind that knows it hates the gift will fleetingly take control of the muscles in your face and show a micro-expression of disgust before your conscious mind directs the muscles to make a smile and voice your appreciation of the gift. These fleeting micro-expressions are picked up by the other person’s unconscious mind and form part of the intuitions that we all use to know when someone is being genuine or not.

Another great example of the effects of incongruence occurs in sport. Golfers are well aware of the ‘yips’ – unconscious and involuntary patterns of movement that derail successful shots. Even the most skillful sportsperson knows that if they allow any part of their mind to think a negative thought or focus on failure then their performance will suffer.

Aligning for success

There are two important things to note from this insight about your multi-mind and the effects of incongruence within it. First, if you want success, you need to make sure all parts of your self are aligned and supportive of that success. Incongruence and inconsistency are not life enhancing and are indeed enemies to happiness and success. You need to learn to detect incongruency within your society of mind and be able to negotiate with all parts of your mind to bring them into alignment and agreement.

Secondly, incongruence within a person’s multi-mind is usually embodied and expressed (typically outside of their conscious awareness) in their physical stance, their micro-muscle movements and facial expressions and in their non-verbal communication. You can learn to notice and track these signals and detect when someone is not fully supportive of the outcomes you are working towards with them. Equally, any incongruence you are feeling will be non-verbally expressed to other people’s unconscious minds and will undermine your chances of successful outcomes with them. In part, this is how self-fulfilling prophecies work within human relationships. We literally express and communicate all the messages from our multi-mind, and get responses from others that recapitulate our expectations.

So I hope you are fully and totally realising right now, with all your heart and mind, all the parts of your society of self, that congruence and alignment of your multi-mind is a life enhancing and vitally important skill. You need to become a master at ‘congruence-ing’ – at tracking for and generating congruence and alignment within your mind/body. And with that in mind, in upcoming blog posts, we'll learn about detecting congruence and incongruence signals and some techniques for aligning the various parts of your self(ing).

Until then, start to notice the various signals and messages within your body and your multi-mind. Listen to your dreams, because that is one of the key ways that the heart and gut brains communicate with the head brain. Tune into and trust your intuitions and your hunches. And start to talk kindly and lovingly with your unconscious mind -- with all the parts of your multi-mind. Talk to your 'self' like you would talk to a loving caring friend. And learn all you can about hypnotic languaging techniques such as the Milton Language Patterns from NLP. The more skills you have in communicating, directing and aligning your unconscious multi-mind, the more life enhancing success you'll have in achieving your heartfelt outcomes in life.


positive smiles and life enhancing wishes,
Grant



You might like to read these key books by Robert Ornstein:


Multimind: A New Way of Looking at Human Behavior
The author of The Psychology of Consciousness here defines the human mind as a "bastard hybrid system." Each of us has many "small minds" that simultaneously process feelings, fantasies, ideas, fixed routines, interpersonal responses and bodily skills. Multimind helps explain why our emotions and attitudes are easily swayed, the difficulty of ever really knowing oneself or another person, and how mental shortcuts we rely on to make snap judgments can harden prejudices.





The Right Mind: Making Sense of the Hemispheres
"I began this book with a pretty firm prejudice," says Robert Ornstein of his survey of the two halves of the human brain. "I believed that after two decades of research we'd find ... that there might be little to distinguish the two sides." Instead, he concluded that "the division of the mind is profound," with deep roots in evolution, embryonic development, and society. It is profound, but not simplistic: Ornstein shows how the right hemisphere is neither a chimpanzeelike moron nor a mystical genius. It provides the context, the big picture, while the left hemisphere keeps track of the details. Doris Lessing says, "I have always admired Robert Ornstein's ability to explain difficult scientific ideas to ordinary people"; Paul Ehrlich calls The Right Mind "the most innovative, fascinating work yet to appear on the role of the two hemispheres of the brain." 






Thursday, June 24, 2010

Congruence is life enhancing

con·gru·ence

/ˈkɒŋ gru əns/ (noun)
The quality or state of agreeing, matching, harmony, conformity or corresponding. 
Do you live a life of congruence or incongruence?

I was thinking about how a friend of mine manages to espouse all sorts of great ideas and intentions, but never manages to follow through and live out those aims and values...

And it made me realise how it would be very very useful to blog about the importance of congruence and how life enhancing it is, and how it's converse -- incongruence is NOT!  Incongruence, inconsistency, procrastination and self-conflict all create failure, and truly that's not life enhancing.

So I immediately sat down and started typing this post. Because, as NLP behavioural modelling of successful people has shown, you create success by taking immediate and congruent action on your outcomes and desires. Thinking and talking about something, without putting actions to your words, is intellectual masturbation and a waste of your time, energy and life.


Motivating Congruence

"Motivation follows action!" 
Zig Ziggler

A great insight into motivating yourself and creating congruence comes from Zig Ziglar, one of the top motivational speakers of all time. According to Zig, “motivation follows action”, and the research backs him up. Most people think that action follows motivation… they erroneously believe they’ll be more likely to take action once they feel motivated. But that’s not the way it works. It’s counter-intuitive, but the patterning system of the mind/body works the other way around.

You generate motivation by taking action. Just start it. Just do it! Begin taking action on a goal or outcome you’ve been procrastinating on, or a goal or outcome you’ve been waiting for motivation on. Put gutsy action to your heartfelt desires. You’ll find that as soon as you take action, even the smallest of steps, your feelings of motivation will immediately increase. You’ll feel more positive and encouraged. Your energy will increase. Your head, heart and gut brains will align. It’s an amazingly simple and very powerful insight. Use it!

Rules and Standards: doing what you say you'll do... what a concept

As I explained in a previous blog post 'Set high minimum standards', life tends to give you the minimum you are prepared to accept, so set high minimum standards for your life. This applies equally to setting high minimum standards for your own rules and behaviours -- Refuse to do incongruence, make it a rule to always choose congruence in your life - to do congruence-ing. Don't accept anything less from or for yourself. If you say something, if you make a promise, then make sure you live up to your word! Always do what you say you'll do... what a concept!

Cybernetic Loop - congruence in thoughts, feelings and actions

I also previously discussed in my blog post 'Choice = Life Enhancing Control' how the mind and body are connected in a cybernetic loop of control; how the mind/brain and body interact and affect each other -- they are not distinct and separate, what affects one, affects the other. The Cybernetic Loop is summarised in the diagram below.


What this model shows is that your thinking (your Internal Processing – thoughts, images, ideas) is connected to and both influences and is influenced by your feelings (your Internal State – your emotions). Your feelings in turn are connected to and both influence and are influenced by your physiology (your External Behaviour – your body, breathing, physical state), which in turn is influenced by and influences your thinking, in a loop. The process of control runs both ways, each of the three components influencing the other.

For congruence in your behaviours, results and life you need to align all parts of your cybernetic loop. For success, you must ensure that your thoughts, feelings and physiology support each other.

Aligning your multi-mind

As I've highlighted in many blog entries, our minds are not unitary -- instead we are an amalgam of a myriad of relatively autonomous multi-minds. And we also don't have just one brain. Modern neuroscience has shown that we have complex, adaptive and functional neural networks, or 'brains', in our heart and gut regions. And congruence requires ongoing negotiating between all the parts of this multi-mind and between all three brains (head, heart and gut). It's a vital life enhancing skill. So I'll blog in detail on how to congruently align your multi-mind and multiple brains in upcoming posts. So stay tuned. [You can also read much more about this in my book, 'mBraining - Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff']

How are you treating your life?

Finally, people often ask me, "How's life treating you?" And I always respond, "Life is treating me the way I treat it.... wondrously!"

You know, life is like a mirror... it reflects back to you in results, the actions and thoughts you put into it. Life treats you the way you treat it. If you are congruent, then you'll get success from life. If you do incongruence, then you'll get incongruent results from and in your life.

What about you? How are you treating life?


Want to learn more, get a copy of my book: Avoiding the Enemies to HAPPINESS!



congruent life enhancing wishes,
Grant